


A cup of coffee

by deandestiny



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, F/M, Fluff, Starbucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-05-03 16:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14572869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deandestiny/pseuds/deandestiny
Summary: Heyy, darlings! So sorry for not updating in so long, I was kinda busy with uni, then summer came and I wanted to catch up with friends! I'll make it up to you, I promise! I can't believe I left you guys with such a cliffhanger! Hope this chapter was a nice apology for the long wait! <3





	1. Chapter 1

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. You and your best friend Sharon were hanging out at the local mall, trying on cute outfits and taking silly pictures of one another. It was just the perfect way to relax. Work was exhausting both of you, so you decided you could use some shopping therapy. When you realized it was 4pm already, you suggested that you go to Starbucks to get a cup of coffee. After all, you had a party to attend to and you needed a lot of energy for the whole night. Sharon agreed immediately and so you two hurried towards one of your favourite places. You ordered a Caramel Macchiato and your friend got herself an Espresso. Then, the two of you found a nice table by the window and sat down. You continued chatting about random things until...you noticed the men sitting at a table nearby. The dark-haired guy, to be specific. He was drinking the exact same drink you had. This couldn't be a coincidence. Not that you believed in fate. But still, you liked looking for signs.  
"Sharon, 7 o'clock! This hot dude is drinking a Caramel Macchiato!" you whispered excitedly.  
"So, what? A lot of guys drink it."  
"No, you don't get it. It's really fucking rare. Especially amongst men as good looking as him."  
"Eh, he's alright. But his friend? Gosh, he's totally my type," Sharon giggled, obviously referring to the blonde guy, sitting next to the man you had laid your eyes on.  
"Shit. Do you see that? He's drinking an Espresso, Sharon!!! We should totally talk to them!" you suggested.  
"Y/N, are you kidding me? It's going to be so awkward!"  
"Oh, come on! Since when are you nervous about anything? If you don't help me out, I'm suing you for betraying your bestie!"  
Sharon rolled her eyes at you.  
"That's not a legit reason to sue someone! But okay, if you insist, we'll approach them."  
Suddenly, you got the chills.  
"For real? Wait, I gotta prepare myself-"  
Too late. Sharon was already up, holding her coffee casually and walking towards the cool kids' table. Damnit, Sharon! You quickly followed her, although you were certain your heart was going to jump out of your chest.  
"Hi! We were drinking our coffee when we noticed you guys had ordered the same drinks as us! So, we thought we'd come by," Sharon spoke, her smile bright as the sun. It was so easy for her to make friends. You often envied her but most of the time, you were just happy she'd befriended you.  
"Oh, really? That's super cute!" the blonde guy chirped and extended his hand to shake with Sharon's, "I'm Steve. It's nice to meet you!"  
"Sharon! Mind if we sit with you?"  
"Not at all, go ahead!" Steve laughed softly.  
In the meantime, you were just standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do. Apparently, the dark-haired man you were interested in felt the same way.  
"That's my friend, Y/N. She's...shy."  
"Hey, uh...I guess Sharon summed it up perfectly."  
Steve looked at Sharon sympathetically.  
"I totally know how you feel. Bucky, here, is pretty much the same! Strangers make him so anxious!"  
You sighed inwardly at how adorable his name sounded. He frowned at being exposed by his friend but didn't say a word to defend himself. You wondered at how many other things you could have in common with the handsome guy.  
Sharon and Steve were quick to find topics to discuss while you and Bucky were chilling, listening to their conversation, sometimes smiling or laughing quietly. It was a mess. Suddenly, Steve said that he had to go and buy something real quick from a store nearby. Sharon generously offered to go with him. Naturally, he agreed and then, your worst nightmare (or maybe the best dream) came true. You were left alone with Bucky. Now, you were bound to talk. Or else, it would be a disaster.  
"So...our friends are quite chatty, eh?" you said.  
Bucky nodded but didn't respond instantly. Then, the miracle happened. You heard his voice.  
"Sometimes it's hard for me. Because it's not that I'm absolutely shy...It's just that I'm cautious around new people."  
The way he spoke...was as beautiful as his face. You were completely awestruck.  
"Oh my God, tell me about it! I'm usually very talkative when I'm with my friends. But when it comes to unfamiliar situations, I like to take things slow."  
Bucky visibly relaxed.  
"Exactly! Not many people get that. Steve is liked by everyone and...when I was young, I was too, but then some shit happened and I started being more careful and nervous. Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you that."  
"No, it's fine! I totally get you! Me and Sharon have been best friends since kids but she always found it easier to find new connections."  
"Yeah, I can tell," Bucky sighed, "Anyways, enough about them. I'm sure they're already making out in that mysterious store."  
You chuckled.  
"True, that does sound like Sharon."  
"Tell me something about yourself," Bucky offered.  
"Hmm...I like coffee, obviously. And books. I work at a publishing company. And that's pretty much about it."  
Bucky smiled at you and looked down.  
"Your turn, angel," you murmured.  
"I like coffee. And plums. I can't tell you my job, though."  
"Ooh? You a secret agent or something?"  
Bucky sighed heavily.  
"Why did you have to guess?"  
"What? Are you going to kill me now?" you pursed your lips.  
Bucky shook his head.  
"I don't do that anymore."  
Anymore? What the heck had you gotten yourself into?


	2. Chapter 2

"Anymore?" you were too shocked to say anything else.  
"Oh, shit. Shouldn't have said that."  
"Are you a serial killer or something?" you were genuinely terrified, but still feeling inexplicably attracted to him.  
"Not exactly. I'm a war veteran," Bucky admitted and took out his left arm from underneath the table, "See? I even lost my arm."  
"God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude or-"  
He shook his head gently.  
"It's fine. I don't expect people to understand or anything. I just...decided to be honest for once."  
You nodded thoughtfully.  
"For what it's worth, the prosthetic makes you look badass."  
Bucky looked away self-consciously.  
"Thanks. You know, not many girls say that."  
Your eyes widened in shock.  
"Are you kidding me?"  
"Nope. Usually, they freak out and run away."  
"Their loss," you answer calmly.  
Bucky chuckled in the cutest way. Somehow, you managed to change the subject because you could see that Bucky was uncomfortable talking about the war or his arm. The two of you had both recently seen Zootopia and it was surprisingly fun to discuss the cute animated characters.  
"So...there's this party me and Sharon are going to tonight. I was wondering if you and Steve would like to come along?" you suggested at one point, trying to sound as casual as possible.  
"I'm not really the party type. But I'm sure Steve would be up for it."  
"Alright, well, we should probably head out and look for our friends. It's been half an hour already."  
Truly shocking how time flies when you're with someone as kind and well-spoken as Bucky. Even though he seemed unapproachable at first, the more you talked to him, the more you realized how smart he actually was.  
"Yeah, we should do that," he replied hesitantly.  
"But before we join Chattyland and things get embarrassing again, I want to ask you something," you blurted out, perhaps faster than necessary. Gosh, why was this making you so nervous? Things were going well...  
Bucky looked at you expectantly. Now is your moment, Y/N! Don't blow it!  
"Can I have your number?" you inquired.  
Then, you could swear Bucky's cheeks flushed with colour for like a millisecond.  
"Sure, yeah, you can have my number," he murmured and extended his hand, waiting for you to give him your phone.  
And so you did. But as it often happens in such situations...your battery had died. What an appropriate moment for that.  
"Oh, shit, that's...not cool," you sighed in disappointed.  
"Guess we'll have to go old-school," Bucky joked and told you to wait for him for a minute.  
You were confused, but did as he asked, anxiously playing with your hands while awaiting his return. Once he was back, he was holding a permanent marker.  
"I borrowed it from the barista at Starbucks."  
"Wow, Bucky, you are a genius! I would have never thought of it!" you confessed.  
"I'm not surprised. You kids and your technologies," he joked.  
"Kids? How old are you, mister?"  
"Take a guess," Bucky replied smugly while writing down his number on a napkin. Damn, he was so handsome while doing even the littlest things.  
"I don't know...25 or something?"  
Bucky coughed, obviously surprised because of your assumption.  
"Come on, tell meee," you complained in a squeaky voice.  
"Nuh-uh. Let's keep the mystery alive."  
"Okay, whatever works best for you," you conceded.  
"When will you call me?" Bucky asked curiously.  
"Haven't decided yet. As you said...let's keep the mystery alive."  
Bucky rolled his eyes.  
"Touché."  



	3. Chapter 3

The party was surprisingly boring. And no, it wasn't because you weren't into such gatherings. It's just that you spent most of the time there thinking about Bucky...And how much you wanted to call him. But the more you felt like doing it, the more you talked yourself out of it. It would be too desperate. You'd only met a couple of hours ago. You should wait at least three days or something...So, you deliberately tried to have as much fun as you could. And you drank. Maybe a little too much.

***  
And so, almost a week passed. You were so busy with work and studying for your Master's degree that you barely had the energy to find the courage to call him. It's not like you didn't want to do it. But you just wanted to wait a little longer. Until Friday arrived. You finally decided to go for it. You would call him tonight or never. And then, the problem arrived. You checked your bag thoroughly (the one you'd carried with you that day). But the napkin wasn't there. Then, you looked into your jeans' pockets. Nada. You sighed in desperation. Where could have you possibly put it? It was his number, for God's sake. Not just an ordinary napkin. Finally, you remembered to check your coat's pockets. And as soon as you did, you immediately regretted ever getting drunk at that horrible party. A random stranger had spilled red wine on your coat. And the next day, you'd sent the coat to dry cleaning. Along with the napkin in its pocket. Implausible as it was, it happened to you. And you'd never felt more upset with yourself. Naturally, you could have called Sharon to ask her if she'd taken Steve's number. You supposed that Steve would have Bucky's number. However, you truly didn't want Sharon to tease you or joke around. You wanted to keep Bucky to yourself. For once, you had a feeling that your crush was worth fighting for. But you couldn't really do that without contacting him, could you?  
So, impulsively, you made up a plan. You'd try to pass by that same Starbucks where you'd met him and hope to see him again. If you did, then, it was another sign to go for it, to talk to him. If not, then, you would just have to move on...As much as it pained you to think of that.

***  
Two weeks later. Sunday. The miracle happened. You had decided to give up after today. Enough was enough. Obsessively looking around for a guy you'd only talked to for half an hour didn't sound like you at all. Yet, here you were. He was alone, drinking a Caramel Macchiato (of course). You swallowed the nervousness inside and approached him in a hurried manner. You couldn't wait to hear his voice again. To see his soft, kind-hearted smile. To look into his warm eyes...Okay, Y/N, you're getting ahead of yourself!  
"Hey, Bucky!" you greeted him excitedly.  
He looked up in surprise and for a moment, you could swear his face was as delighted as yours. But then, his smile faded and he suddenly seemed cold and unapproachable. You were just a bit scared, but mostly disappointed.  
"You didn't call," he responded, a composed statement.  
"Let me explain," you instantly began defending yourself. What had gotten into you? He wasn't even your boyfriend, so why were you defensive?  
And then, you told him the whole story with of the crappy party, the wine, the coat and the dry cleaning. Then, the amiable, cute guy you'd fallen for was back.  
"It sounds almost impossible. But...you came to talk to me when you could have just ditched me, so, I'm willing to believe you. Honestly, though, I thought you wouldn't call."  
You shook your head in distress.  
"Bucky, how could you ever think that?"  
"Well, I don't know you that well, Y/N. Trust me, it is very often that people make me trust them and then step on my hopes."  
It was the kind of confession one didn't make on a second date. Not that you thought of this as a date. You were just two adults talking, casually drinking the same coffee, on the same table...  
"Oh shit...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Truly, it's just that I'm an idiot who forgot to put this super important napkin in a safe place."  
Bucky giggled quietly.  
"Super important napkin?"  
You nodded vigorously.  
"The most important. Let me make it up to you, Bucky."  
A cruel grin graced his beautiful lips.  
"Hmm, I've got an idea, Y/N."  
"Anything. Just name the price, sunshine."  
He took out his phone from his jeans.  
"Your number. Right now."  
Damn it. He was really hot with that commanding voice...  
"As you wish, sir," you murmured and typed your number faster than you've ever typed anything in your life. So much for playing hard to get.  
Once that was done, he quickly got up from his chair.  
"Wait, where are you going?" you asked anxiously.  
"Why? You want to keep me around?" Bucky smirked.  
You blushed and actually made the mistake to put your face in your hands. Promptly, you managed to regain composure.  
"So what if I do?" you played along.  
Bucky shrugged.  
"You'll have to try harder."  
Then, he left.


	4. Chapter 4

You were surprised when Bucky called you only three days later. After not contacting him for two weeks, you thought he'd torture you for quite some time as well. However, you were truly happy to hear his voice. It could make you melt, even over the phone.  
"Are you busy?" he asked directly.  
You couldn't believe how much he'd changed after your last meeting.  
"Uh...not really," you answered, grinning like an idiot.  
"Good. Let's hang out."  
"Where are you?" you asked impulsively.  
Bucky stayed quiet for a moment, as if contemplating whether to tell you rightaway.  
"I don't know, some cramped bookshop."  
"Oh my God, Bucky, what are you doing in a bookshop?" you were so excited, all of a sudden. The guy you liked...books, you also liked...it was a match made in heaven.  
"I have no idea, I got lost, looking for this new restaurant but then, it started raining, so this place was the closest one."  
You giggled at that and swirled around in your chair.  
"Don't laugh at me!" Bucky complained and you were certain he was pouting.  
"I'm not! You're cute!"  
Bucky coughed loudly.  
"Not! I'm a menace!"  
You shook your head.  
"Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart!"  
Damnit, you really wanted to see him again. He made your whole world light up in a way you'd never thought possible.  
"I'll text you the address, if you wanna hang out."  
Yes! YES!  
"Sure, sounds cool," you responded indifferently.

***  
When you finally got there, you witnessed the most endearing sight ever. Bucky, sitting on the ground, going through a vintage edition of "1984". It was one of your all time favourites. You were surprised at his curiosity. Judging by how young he looked, he should have studied it in high school...  
"Hey there!" you approached him cautiously, because you didn't want to startle him.  
He quickly looked up at you.  
"You came."  
"Of course! Did you doubt me?"  
"I don't know. Maybe a little?"  
You ran a finger beneath your eye to suggest fake tears.  
"Aww, you must have missed me a lot!"  
Bucky rolled his eyes.  
"You fucking wish! You ran here in the rain in like five minutes, so you must have missed me even more."  
You shrugged.  
"I was closeby. Totally an accident."  
"Totally," Bucky mimicked your voice adorably.  
"Stop it!"  
Then, you and Bucky looked around the tiny bookshop together, showing one another interesting titles or covers, laughing at dumb jokes and just generally having a really great time. Finally, you noticed that the rain had stopped and decided to leave the cosy place. Bucky ended up buying "1984".  
"Great choice," you told him.  
"I hope so. Won't you get anything?" he asked you.  
"Oh no, I have too many unfinished books on my shelves at home. I'd better exercise some self-control."  
Bucky smiled fondly at you. Once his purchase was done, you and him walked together to the subway.  
"Do you want to go somewhere in particular? I couldn't find that new restaurant but we can improvise?"  
Was he...asking you out? Like for real? On a proper, actual date???  
"Bucky, I'd love to, but first we gotta make something clear."  
He nodded.  
"Is it gonna be like a date or are we just gonna stick to being friends?" you posed the question.  
Bucky sighed deeply.  
"That depends. Which one do you want it to be?"  
A date, of course! Was he that oblivious to how much you were into him?  
"I think you know the answer to that."  
Bucky smirked.  
"I think you're right," he said and grabbed your hand as you two walked down the stairs to the underground.  



	5. Chapter 5

You woke up by the buzzing of your phone. It was Sharon. You wondered what she was up to so early on a Saturday morning. It was only- Fuck, 11am! You'd overslept big time. You picked up the phone.  
"What's up, girl?" you answered groggily.  
"STEVEN ROGERS JUST ASKED ME OUT!" she screamed in your ear.  
"Wait, blonde guy from Starbucks? Bucky's BFF?" you asked in confusion.  
"YEAH, SILLY, HOW MANY STEVEN ROGERSES DO YOU KNOW?" Sharon continued yelling.  
"Gee, stop being so loud, I just woke up. Anyways, I'm happy for you!" you told her in a flat voice.  
Sharon sighed deeply.  
"You don't seem very excited."  
What were you supposed to tell her? That you'd kept your date with Bucky a secret? That you didn't want to ruin things by bragging to her about him? That you were terribly superstitious and just had a feeling things would go wrong if you told anyone about him? That was so foolish. Sharon was your best friend. You were supposed to trust her with everything.  
"No, I truly am! It's just that...I have to tell you something."  
"Sure, what's wrong?" she immediately sounded concerned.  
"I went out on a date with Bucky..."  
"YOU DID WHAT?" Sharon was furious, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
"I don't know, I just wanted to keep things casual, not get my hopes up. I'm sure you're already planning a double date, so...please, don't."  
Sharon giggled. Suddenly, the tension was gone.  
"You're right. I do have a tendency of overreacting when it comes to your relationships. I solemnly promise I'll be cool! A new Sharon has risen on the horizon. No more screaming."  
You laughed as well.  
"Thank you, Shar."  
"BUT YOU GOTTA HELP ME PICK AN OUTFIT FOR TONIGHT!" she squealed. You groaned and started dressing up...  
At the end of the day, you actually had a lot of fun with her. As always, clothes, you and Sharon just fitted together perfectly. She was no longer mad at you for keeping a secret, in fact, she was super understanding. You told her about your bookshop date and she was rejoicing but in a very composed, chill manner. You had to give her credit for that.  


***

Bucky messaged you a picture of a German Shepherd puppy in the evening. It was too cute for words.  
"OMG, where did you find that angel?" you replied immediately.  
"The streets. He looked pitiful :( so I brought him home and fed him."  
You were certain that Bucky Barnes was a celestial being sent from above.  
"Gosh, can you get any nicer than that?" you asked, rhetorically.  
"I don't think so..." he replied truthfully.  
"Will you keep him long enough so that I can come see him in person?" you questioned impulsively, without thinking twice.  
"Are you sure you're talking about the puppy? ;)" Bucky answered smugly.  
OKAY, he was definitely flirting with you. What were you supposed to do? Flirt back?  
"YES, dogs >>> people!"  
"You're only fooling yourself, darling."  
Your heart fluttered at that. He was so good at this...  
"So, should I come over? Or is it too soon for that?" you typed and pressed SEND before you could talk yourself out of it.  
But he didn't say anything rightaway. Which worried you immensely. Were you too forward? Did you scare him away? You just wanted to hang out, pet the puppy, maybe watch a movie...  
"Bucky?" you messaged him nervously.  
Still, no response...  
You waited until 3am, clutching the phone in your hand. You were hoping, no, praying that he'd answer eventually. But he didn't. You contemplated calling him, but then decided against it. He was probably ignoring you on purpose. Suddenly, you regretted telling Sharon anything. You knew you were supposed to keep Bucky a secret. Sharing this with her made things scarier, more real. You wanted to turn back time. You knew it was foolish to wish for the impossible. But that has never stopped you before.  



	6. Chapter 6

Another lonely week passed by for you. You decided that you wouldn't text Bucky again. If he wanted to contact you, he would. You truly wondered if you'd been way too forward in your last chat. It felt wrong calling it "last" because you weren't certain it was the end. You sincerely hoped that he would reach out for you first. You hated being the desperate one, no matter how silly that sounded. You tried to distract yourself by checking out new books that could be appropriate for the publishing company you worked it. Usually, reading helped you cool down. But not this time. It's been a while since you had a serious crush on someone. And Bucky wasn't exactly the type of crush you can stop thinking about. He was too damn gorgeous, funny and mysterious to ignore. One evening, you were so lonely that you had to ask Sharon to come over. You even asked her if Steve had heard something about Bucky. Alas, Sharon told you that Steve was away for the week. You wondered if perhaps Bucky was with the blonde man. But why wouldn't he just say so, instead of not replying? It seemed too cruel and it was honestly breaking your heart.  
Finally, the moment of truth arrived. You received a message from Bucky. You were so excited and yet, you didn't want to get all worked up and then, be disappointed by it. You even wondered if you should open it at all. What if it was just a message saying: "Let's stop seeing each other"? You wouldn't be able to handle that. Not while sober, anyhow. Still, you thought that knowing why he'd stopped texting was better than asking yourself "What if" forever. So, you were pleasantly surprised when you saw what he'd sent you.  
"Hey, Y/N, I get it if you never want to hear from me again after what I did to you, but I still felt like I owe you an explanation and an apology. I didn't respond to you because of an emergency related to my job. You can ask Steve if you don't trust me, I'm alright with that. Anyways, I hope you didn't think I was ignoring you on purpose, it's just that I forgot my phone at home. I know I could have called from Steve's but we were truly facing insurmountable difficulties and I didn't mean to worry you in vain. I am so so sorry, darling. And to answer your last question, of course, you can come over anytime. Here is my address, by the way. I really want to see you soon. I hope you've been well. Missed you lots!"  
Your heart fluttered so much. You even had to re-read the message a couple of times to assure yourself that it was real and not just some crazy dream. You knew there had to be a reason for his just disappearing. You missed him a lot as well, so you responded almost immediately. Screw being desperate, it was too long since you'd last seen him. You needed to catch up.  
"Hey, Bucky, of course I want to hear from you again! There is no need to apologize, I totally get it. Thank you for clarifying things! Honestly, I was a bit worried that maybe I'd been too bold the last time we texted and that I'd pushed you away. I'm glad that wasn't the case. Anyways, I trust you and I don't mean to ask Steve anything. Again, don't be sorry, I understand, it can happen to anyone. I'd love to come over. Is now a good time for you? I really want to see you in person. I've been great! Missed you more!"  
Okay, the part about being "great" was a lie! You were deeply upset when you had no contact with him. But he didn't have to know that yet, right? You sighed to yourself and hoped that you would see him as soon as possible. You nervously played around with your phone until he texted back.  
"I knew you'd understand, you're a very sensible, considerate person. Now is a perfect time, just text me when you get here so that I can unlock the front door for you."  
You literally squealed from happiness when you received that. You hurried to your closet, anxious to find something nice. Luckily, you knew just the thing. A knee-length blue dress with a pair of silver shoes. You smiled to yourself and did your usual natural makeup look. When you were ready, you grabbed your bag and your phone. You took the subway and listened to some new pop punk songs to help you relax. Eventually, you got off the train and practically ran towards Bucky's apartment building. You took a deep breath and texted him the second you arrived. A minute later, he was downstairs, opening the door for you from the inside.  
"Hey," he whispered shyly and let you in.  
"Hey," you responded.  
"Come on," Bucky said and took your hand in his. You could swear that your face was as red as a tomato.  
Once you were in his apartment, you were shocked to see how minimalistic everything was. His place was truly ordered beautifully, white and black colours being predominant. You liked it, it just wasn't what you were expecting. Bucky seemed like an adventurous, wild person. His apartment was the opposite. It suggested that he was peaceful, calm and composed. You were kind of confused.  
"What is your zodiac sign?" you suddenly blurted out without thinking.  
"Uhh, Pisces, why?" Bucky mumbled awkwardly.  
"Huh. Sounds fair."  
Bucky was obviously baffled at your behaviour but kept quiet.  
"Do you want to eat something?" he inquired.  
"Are you offering to cook?" you questioned back.  
"Maybe," he chuckled sweetly.  
You clapped your hands excitedly.  
"I want to help! What do you have in mind?"  
Bucky shrugged.  
"Do you like lasagna?"  
"Dude, I love lasagna! Let's do this!"  
Bucky smiled happily and the two of you got to work. When you were cutting the carrots for the sauce, you noticed that Bucky was extremely close to you, dealing with the tomatoes. You secretly wished he'd give you a quick back hug. You knew it was a bit clichéd but you wanted it nonetheless. Right as you thought that, Bucky attacked you from behind with a tight hug. Oh. My. Gosh.  
"Let's stay like this for a bit. The lasagna can wait."  
You truly wanted to scream out loud. He was making you so happy.  
"Bucky, have you been watching romantic dramas while you were away?" you joked.  
"Nope. Just wanted to do this."  
Ahhh, you could swear your heart just transformed into a million butterflies.  
"It feels nice," you confessed reluctantly.  
"Right?"  
After that brief moment of intimacy, you two continued cooking, way more focused than before. You hoped that you'd finish up quickly so that you can talk more and have a thousand hugs. And that did indeed happen. Today was like a dream come true. The two of you ate the lasagna, sitting next to each other on the dark green couch. Once you were too full, Bucky played some soft playlist on his laptop.  
"That's some great music. Where did you find it from?"  
"Spotify," Bucky answered with the most beautiful smile on is face.  
You giggled wholeheartedly.  
"You're like the sweetest boy I've ever met."  
"Boy?" Bucky's eyebrows rose.  
"What? You still not going to tell me your age?"  
Bucky shook his head.  
"Not yet."  
You casually leaned your head on his shoulder.  
"Alright then, Mr. Mysterious. But you owe me one. Wait...where is your puppy?" you suddenly remembered your last conversation.  
"Oh, shit. You came to see Comet?"  
You laughed.  
"No, silly, I came to see you but if Comet's around, I'd like to see him as well!"  
Bucky scratched the back of his head anxiously.  
"Uhh, he's at Sam's. He's...one of my colleagues who didn't have to come to the missi- I mean, the work thing I was at."  
Your eyes widened. Was he going to say mission? Nevermind. He had his secrets, you had yours...Maybe one day, he'd open up and share everything with you. But for now, hanging out was enough.  
"Okie dokes. I hope to meet Comet and your friend Sam soon."  
Bucky just nodded silently. The two of you spent the night talking to one another about your favourite books, songs and places at the city. Bucky was one of the few people who could really make you laugh. And you wished this could last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, darlings! So sorry for not updating in so long, I was kinda busy with uni, then summer came and I wanted to catch up with friends! I'll make it up to you, I promise! I can't believe I left you guys with such a cliffhanger! Hope this chapter was a nice apology for the long wait! <3


	7. Chapter 7

You woke up to an unfamiliar setting. You were too sleepy to freak out so you decided to take it easy when analyzing this strange situation you were in. You rubbed your eyes lazily and lifted yourself up slightly. Suddenly, it struck you. You were in Bucky's bedroom. You fell asleep on the couch last night and...he must have carried you here. If that was the case, then, where was he? You got out of the bed and left the room in an anxious hurry. Nothing could have happened, right? Bucky wasn't that type of person. He probably slept in the living room like the true gentleman he was. But still, you had to know for sure. Luckily, you found him in the kitchen, making breakfast for the two of you. He really was the sweetest guy ever.  
"Pancakes, huh? Great choice," you greeted him.  
"Good morning to you too, princess!" he responded.  
You smiled meekly at him.  
"Listen, Buck...I just wanted to ask you-"  
"We didn't do anything if that's what you're worried about."  
You were kind of shocked to hear him say something in such a straightforward way. But actually, you were grateful that he was honest and didn't make you say the awkward question out loud.  
"Oh, great. I mean...not that I wouldn't want to, hypothetically but I also feel like it's too early to, you know...Ugh, nevermind, I'm terrible at expressing my thoughts."  
Bucky gently put a hand on your shoulder.  
"It's okay. You don't need to worry about anything around me."  
That was actually the most endearing thing a guy has ever told you. In your previous experience, most men were huge assholes. But being around Bucky truly made you think like there was hope, like you'd finally hit the jackpot. You just prayed that you wouldn't waste the money you won way too soon. Figuratively speaking, of course.  
"Thanks. That's really nice of you to say."  
He gave you one of your favourite smiles of his.  
"Soo...need any help with the pancakes?" you offered generously.  
"No need, I'm almost done. You can use the bathroom if you wish."  
You pouted at him.  
"Do I look that tragic?" you joked.  
"No, you look beautiful, as always. I was just saying-"  
You beamed at him. He really did know how to treat a woman right.  
"I know. I was messing around."  
Bucky flipped a pancake over and winked at you.  
"I know. But I had to take advantage of the opportunity to give you a compliment."  
You giggled and actually hid your face in your hands. He was THAT smooth.  
"Okay, then. I guess I'll just go clean myself up. Be right back!"  
He just smiled and let you do your thing. As soon as you were in his bathroom, you started freaking out. Was this really happening? Were you actually at Bucky's place? Was he literally making pancakes? It was honestly too good to be true! For a moment, you considered calling Sharon and asking her for advice. But then, you remembered the last time you shared something Bucky-related with her, he'd stopped responding your messages for a week. Well, it's not like she was to blame but you were kind of superstitious. After a few minutes of losing your shit, you finally decided to wash your face and hands in an attempt to look somewhat presentable. Then, you left the bathroom and you were astonished that Bucky had already set the table and he was just cleaning up the kitchen.  
"Wow, you...really did that. It looks amazing!" you could swear you were practically glowing from too much pleasant surprises.  
Bucky seemed overjoyed with pride and soon enough, the two of you had already devoured the food.  
"What do you want to do today? It's Sunday so...maybe we could just stay here all day, watch TV and talk? Or we could go outside since the weather is quite nice...Totally your choice. Tell me what you want to do."  
You were nodding enthusiastically but you had no idea what he was saying because you were far too focused on his lips to differentiate the words from one another.  
"Y/N?" Bucky whispered after you didn't reply.  
"Huh?"  
"I asked you what you wanted to do."  
You chuckled in embarrassment.  
"Uh, yeah, sorry, I got carried away for a second."  
"Staring at me?" he teased playfully.  
"Was it that obvious?" you admitted in defeat.  
"I'm pretty sure the whole world saw," Bucky continued to make fun of you.  
"I'm a mess," you laughed.  
"No, you're not. Trust me, I, too, get lost when looking at you."  
You looked into his eyes and just instinctively knew, he was being truthful.  
"I don't know what to say," you confessed dumbly.  
"No need to say anything. Just, please, tell me what we are doing today."  
"Let's go outside and just walk till our feet hurt. Let's take silly photos with the city's landmarks and post them on social media. Let's hold hands until our palms get sweaty. Let's just...be together and do anything."  
Bucky offered you his hand.  
"Sounds like the perfect date."


	8. Chapter 8

Things were going great. You and Bucky would text everyday and meet up at least once a week (sometimes, twice or even three times when you weren't that busy). You would talk to him about your job and your studies and he would talk to you about his interests, his adventures with Steve and his childhood memories. For some reason, there was something fishy about that, almost as if he was hiding something big. As if he lived in a different era of some sorts. However, you decided not to delve into it because he was really treating you great. He'd give you his leather jacket if you were cold and he'd take you to the loveliest places in the city. He'd always tell you how beautiful you looked even if you didn't think so yourself. One time, he even let you walk his dog Comet! He was basically the perfect guy for you. You felt so damn lucky you couldn't believe it. And just when you'd thought exactly that: this was too good to be true, something bad happened. And this is how it started:  
It'd been two months since the day you met. You decided to celebrate that because your first proper date came way too late because of your forgetfulness. You were really excited about your anniversary or whatever it was and you could tell that Bucky was hyped as well. It was basically in all of your conversations. You'd started planning it a couple of days earlier. Bucky somehow got a reservation at the coolest restaurant in town. When you asked him how he managed to achieve that, he just shrugged and said he has a friend who has connections. You didn't drill him any further. You were truly the happiest person. Finally, the night you awaited came. You'd bought a new dress for the special occasion. You'd spent hours on your hair and makeup. You knew it was unnecessary and that Bucky would compliment you no matter how you looked but honestly, you just wanted to do your best to impress him. You put in a great deal of effort into this. You were supposed to meet up directly at the restaurant. You said his name to the waiter and he guided you to a fancy, secluded table for two. The whole atmosphere was really romantic and serene. But there was something missing. Someone. Bucky was never late so after 15 minutes of waiting for him by yourself, you started to get worried. He couldn't have forgotten about your anniversary. He was just as enthusiastic about the event as you were. So, what was wrong? Why wasn't he here? You sighed deeply and decided to text him. He'd comforted you on multiple occasions that there was no such thing as too desperate and that you could contact him whenever you wished to do so.  
"Buck, where are you??? The waiter keeps asking me if I want to order something. Pls, respond ASAP!!!"  
You knew there was no practical need to use that many question and exclamation marks but you were honestly shocked that he wasn't showing up. Alas, you experienced a dejavu as you were walking out of the restaurant, after an hour of waiting in vain. You were so upset you couldn't even think straight. Why had he just ditched you with no explanation whatsoever? It wasn't like him at all! Or was it? Now that you put things into perspective, he had ignored you for a whole week with that stupid excuse about his work and his phone. And you'd believed him like a fool! Why did you have to get your hopes up and think that he was any different than any other asshole? You kept blaming yourself for things that weren't your fault at all. You only found out the entire truth when it was too late...

/ Bucky's POV /  
I couldn't believe this shit. How could The Avengers call me for an emergency meeting on the night of my anniversary with Y/N? It was beyond inconsiderate and I was so angry at them. I wanted to text her immediately and tell her everything but Steve said that it was better if she didn't know just yet. Some dumb explanation about how only trustworthy people should know. I told Steve that I trust her more than anything, despite only knowing her for two months. However, he advised me to wait it out. Naturally, I had to choose the mysterious meeting over my date with Y/N because Steve convinced me it was a life-and-death situation. One of the cons of being a supersoldier, I guess.  
"This better be fucking important," I groaned as I stormed into the headquarters.  
"It is," responded Tony, "Natasha got kidnapped."  
"WHAT? WHO TOOK HER?" I yelled angrily. I couldn't keep my emotions in check. After all, me and Nat had...history.  
"We don't know yet," answered Steve, "Which is exactly why we needed you here, at least until we find her."  
"How am I supposed to know the freak who kidnapped her?" I muttered.  
"Our leads show that whoever did it probably works for Hydra," said Bruce.  
"Great," I growled sarcastically.  
"Nat is a tough girl, I'm sure she'll be fine. But we still need to hurry up because we have no idea how much time we have and what they want from her," reminded me Tony.  
I ran a hand through my hair. This was a disaster.  
"I'll do my best to track the abductor. But I'm doing this for her, not for you," this was directed at Tony. I knew how much he values Nat but I still couldn't completely forgive him for all the shit that went down between us.  
Tony nodded, understanding.  
"I get it, pal."  
I scoffed.  
"Not your pal, Stark. Oh, and one more thing. After we find Natasha, I'm telling Y/N everything about The Avengers. I can't keep disappearing without an explanation. She won't go around spreading information about us, I promise."  
"And if she does?" questions Clint suspiciously.  
"Then, that's on me. Take me off the team, if you want. I'm done lying to my girlfriend."  
Steve smiled at me, proud of my decision. The rest of The Avengers agreed without a complaint. I really felt bad for leaving Y/N like that but I was certain she'd get it once I acquainted her with the graveness of the situation. But for now, I had to focus on locating Nat. Her kidnapper would never see me coming.


	9. Chapter 9

A week after Bucky stood you up at that restaurant, he finally called you again. No! You wouldn't let him get away with this so easily. You were still angry with him for being a jerk and not even texting why he hadn't showed up. So, you decided that you'd torture him a little. If he wanted to apologize, he'd have to try harder to reach you. Naturally, you left him on voicemail.  
"Hey, Y/N," Bucky started with a sigh once you played the message he'd recorded for you, "First of all, I'm terribly sorry. I know that night was special for you and...there's nothing much I could do other than beg your forgiveness. Oh, and...I'd like to say sorry in person. If that's okay with you. And tell you everything, where I was, what I had to do. I hope you give me another chance. Once again, I'm sorry. Uhh, call me if you want to meet up, I guess. Stay safe."  
Damnit. No matter how much you wanted to give him the cold shoulder, the way he sounded...it made you believe that he really had a good reason for ditching your date. You wanted to trust him so badly. One last time. You braced yourself and texted him.  
"Pick me up at 8. If u r late, it's rlly over."  
He responded almost immediately.  
"I won't be late."  
You closed your eyes and told your heart to relax. Why was he still affecting you like this?

***  
Once the appointed hour arrived, you realized you weren't ready. Well, your outfit and make-up were all done but...you weren't mentally prepared for this. Still, you knew that it'd be extremely rude to keep him waiting just because he'd done the same. You weren't that petty. You quickly ran downstairs and your jaw almost dropped when you saw him standing there in the cold, holding a bouquet of flowers. He was so sweet you suddenly felt like crying. You opened the door in a hurry.  
"Please, come inside, it's freezing out there!" you exclaimed worriedly instead of saying "hello". He smiled at you and did as you suggested.  
"Here, these are for you," he whispered, handing you the flowers solemnly.  
"If you think I'll forgive you just because those are really fucking pretty, you're wrong!" you told him, trying to make your voice sound as mad as possible. Nevertheless, you took the flowers and smelled them.  
"Should we go sit somewhere? To talk," Bucky offered.  
"Let's go to my apartment," you said nonchalantly, "It's too cold to look for a restaurant."  
"I came with a car, though."  
"Right," you chuckled, "I'm so dumb."  
"No, you're not," Bucky reassured you, "Soo, what's it gonna be?"  
You didn't want him to know how eager you were to see his car. At the same time, you didn't want him to think you were that desperate to be alone with him in your apartment. You had to be very careful with your words.  
"Whatever."  
Smooth, Y/N. Very clever. You cursed yourself mentally.  
"We can go to that place where our anniversary was supposed to be," Bucky proposed.  
"Ouch. Rubbing salt into the wound?"  
Bucky smiled apologetically.  
"I don't think that's a good idea, Bucky, I mean...it's probably all booked."  
He waved you off.  
"Don't worry about it. I can get us a table with a single call."  
You didn't think twice. You wanted to eat fancy seafood! And talk about your relationship, of course. But eating seafood was pretty high up there.  
"Okay, okay, shall we go already?" you were still clutching the flowers as if they were the most precious thing in the world.  
"You won't bring them upstairs and put them in water?" Bucky asked.  
"Nope. I'm going to carry them to the restaurant. They'd give us a vase, don't you think?"  
He nodded and extended his hand for you to hold. Fuck it. If this was goodbye, you could at least have some fun. If it wasn't...even better.  
The ride to the restaurant was quiet. Bucky was focused on the road and you were too busy looking at the city street lights. Everything was so much more beautiful at night. More vibrant, more magnified. You put your palm on the glass of the window. It was so cold. And yet, comforting. You somehow felt Bucky's eyes on you.  
"Eyes back on the road," you warned him teasingly.  
"As you wish, darling."  
You flushed upon hearing the pet name. It felt like centuries since he'd last called you that.  
When you arrived at the restaurant, you were surprised how warm it was. Last week, the temperature inside was probably the same. Maybe the contrast between the freezing winter night and the cozy place was affecting you. Or maybe, Bucky's palm in yours was to blame...A waiter lead you to the only free table in sight. You had no idea how Bucky had managed to have this arranged so quickly. You wanted to ask but you decided against it. If things went well tonight, Bucky was going to tell you himself. On his own terms. You settled down and ordered. The waiter gave you privacy. And the long-awaited confession began.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heey, guys! First of all, sorry for not updating in so long! I was really busy with university and I knooow that's just an excuse but I totally forgot about this fic (plus, I didn't have much inspiration, oops). Anyways, as you are all aware, Endgame came out recently and since I'm bitter about...well, everything, I've decided to write some more in order to distract myself from this hellish movie :) And like a great person once said: I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it. (aka me @the russos rn). I hope you enjoy this chapter, darlings!

"Have you heard about the Avengers?" Bucky asked you once you'd ordered food.  
"The what, now?" you murmured in confusion.  
Bucky chuckled lightly.  
"Don't you watch the news?"  
You shook your head, slightly embarrassed by your own ignorance.  
"Okay, so...it's this team that fights all sorts of threats to Earth. Aliens, robots, supervillains...You know."  
You widened your eyes in shock.  
"Oh, you mean like, back in 2012?"  
"That's when it all started, yeah. In a way."  
"So, why the sudden change of topic? I thought you were going to explain why you'd disappeared without a trace."  
Bucky nodded thoughtfully.  
"That's exactly what I'm trying to do, Y/N."  
"Bucky...I'm not sure I understand."  
Bucky sighed.  
"I'm sort of working for them. Well, not for. More like with. And I missed our anniversary because a colleague, a friend had been kidnapped. We needed to locate her as quickly as possible. And we did, so...yeah, that's my explanation, I guess."  
"Holy shit," you just stood there, mouth wide open.  
"I know it's a lot to process and I'll understand if you want to break up."  
You were furious.  
"No, Bucky, why would I want to break up because of that? I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me back then."  
Bucky looked down in shame.  
"Texts can be easily traced. I needed to be cautious. Besides...I wanted to tell you in person. It only felt right."  
You smiled at him. Ever the gentleman, Bucky had taken into consideration your preference to have serious conversations in person. And you appreciated him even more because of it.  
"I completely understand. You don't need to feel bad about it. Besides, you're the same person I fell for. Nothing has changed."  
You placed your hand on top of his. He looked up at you lovingly. You could drown in those deep blue eyes of his and it'd be a sweet death.  
"I'm sorry you had to deal with this on your own. It must have been difficult. Regardless, I'm very glad your friend is safe. And that you decided to tell me. What I'm trying to say is...thank you for trusting me."  
Tears started to well up in Bucky's eyes.  
"Nonsense. It's me who should be thanking you. For not being angry with me. I wanted to tell you from the very beginning but the Avengers were against it. They said I need more time to determine whether I can trust you. But when all this shit went down...I just couldn't keep this a secret from you. Not anymore."  
You nodded, understandingly and squeezed his hand.  
"It's okay. You don't need to explain. I was angry at first, but now that I know you're not like the other guys who would just ditch me without a legitimate reason, I'm satisfied. Not that I'm happy this horrible thing happened to your friend...It's just that it feels better to know you care enough to tell me the truth."  
Bucky slowly leaned his head forward so that your foreheads touched. He was such a sweet guy...You couldn't believe how lucky you were. And how...bad it made you feel for ever doubting him or his reasons for vanishing. He deserved better than that. You needed to tell him so many things. Needed to remind him how amazing he was. And how much he meant to you...  
"Of course, I care," he said before you could say anything. "I care so much that I'd leave the Avengers if they ever made me lie to you again."  
You pulled away.  
"No, you don't have to do that. You're a hero, Bucky! You protect the Earth and save your friends without even expecting anything in return. You can't give that up, not for me, not for anyone. You love doing that, don't you? This is your life."  
He shrugged.  
"Sure, I love doing it, but sometimes the pressure is too much to handle. All these secrets, the missions...I miss having a normal life. And meeting you, it was my first chance at normal."  
"Since when?" you suddenly remembered the fact that he never really told you his age. It was bizarre. You'd known each other for months.  
"Since...forever. Listen, speaking of secrets, there's one more I forgot to tell you. Are you ready?"  
"Shoot."  
Bucky laughed at your strange choice of words.  
"I'm more than 100 years old. Surprise!"  
You...had no idea how to react. How was this humanly possible? He looked no more than 30.  
"Are you joking?"  
"Nope. I can prove it. But maybe some other time. Enough shocking news for tonight. Let's eat, food'll get cold."  
You were too stunned to say anything. So you did as he suggested and began devouring your meal. He did the same and you both did so in silence. However, despite the remarkable things he'd told you, it was a comfortable silence. You could sit around like that for hours and you'd always feel safe and cared for. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world.  
"Bucky," you said, eager to grab his attention.  
"Yes?"  
"When I said that you're the same person I fell for...I lied. You're even better than my expectations. I suppose you've always been a great guy, I just didn't know it."  
Bucky smiled at you calmly.  
"Not always. I've done some pretty terrible things in the past."  
"We all have," you responded collectedly. "You'll tell me tomorrow."  
"Okay," he agreed and raised his glass. "To being better than who we used to be."  
"To us," you clinked your glass against his. "And to growing together."


End file.
